Teenagers and Teachers
Jun 07 ’01
The Bottom Line I would very much like it if teachers could support their students. They have too much to deal with as it is, let alone being belittled by their teachers.
Being a teenager in this day and age is difficult enough. We all know that. And we also know that times and circumstances have changed. I’m 36 years old and I know that when I was a teenager things were so different. My parents trusted my friends, my parents trusted me and I knew this, which is why seeing what is happening today is so disturbing.
I know that parental love and guidance is key to a well-rounded, respectful, and healthy teenager. But what I’d like to focus on at this point is the relationship between a teenager,specifically middle school aged kids and their teachers.
I’ve had the honor of knowing a certain young man all of his 15 years. I will refer to him as „Chris.“ He’s smart, funny, and a joy to know. However, he has been a challenge to his parents from pre-school to present because he was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) when he was in the fourth grade. Beginning in preschool, Chris was a challenge to his teachers. He would get bored easily with structure. He would become „ansy“ if he had to sit for long periods of time. But give him something challenging to accomplish with his hands, or give him something fun to do which took intricate work, and he was engrossed until it was finished.
Because of the constant things that the teachers had to do, like repeatedly tell him to sit down, be quiet, sit still, don’t interrupt.. on and on and on.. the other children became to dislike him, and didn’t tolerate his „immaturity“ well at all.
Chris was prescribed Ritalin in the fourth grade, and it seemed to help him to concentrate better but by then it was too late; his „reputation“ as a child who was constantly yelled at by the teachers preceeded him, and from that point on he was branded as someone who is „annoying“ and who „doesn’t know how to stop“ his annoying behavior.
The point I’m getting to is this: In the history that I’ve known this boy, his life has been one of self-protection, denial, and anger. Yet in spite of it all, he’s never broken down and succumbed to the pressures of making the worst decisions in life. His parents have raised him to know what is good and bad; what is right and wrong. I admire them for that.
Chris’ mother once called me, crying, when he was in third grade. His teacher, a teacher the mother remembers having when she was in the same elementary school, had lost control of the classroom. There was a group of children standing in the room, all of them talking; being noisy. Her son was in that group of kids, each one of them being disruptive. It was witnessed by another teacher who happened to be walking the hall that afternoon, that the teacher went into that group of kids, pushed them aside and went straight for Chris. She yanked him by the arm so hard that his body spun around. She then proceeded to bring her arm back and she hit him with her entire force so that the teacher who was standing there heard it like a shot had gone off. Chris’ teacher then put her face into his and told him „YOU get back in your SEAT, and do not MOVE until I tell you too!“ The teacher walking the halls that day had the guts to tell the principal about it. Once the parents knew, they demanded that this teacher be suspended. And she was. For one lousy day.
More recently, in Chris’ middle school years, the teachers have heard all about Chris’ troubles. He is not supported at all. Kids in the school have called him „Beaver“ ever since fourth grade, because his teeth needed braces and since his parents have done that, the kids still tease him because in their eyes, he will always be this „annoying“ kid who has this stigma placed upon him. Teachers are biased against him – teachers talk about students, that is natural. But what I don’t think is acceptable, EVER, is when the teachers themselves become a part of this cruel game.